I am anxious to share.
I remember that once in a professional development we had for literacy, we wrote snippets of stories and took turns reading each other’s work.
This old crotchety woman sitting next to me said, “OMG, I didn’t know you were a writer.”
I stared back at her blankly, thinking,and managed to mumble, “I’ve never thought of myself as one.”
“Well I think it’s time.” she proclaimed, turning to the leader of the session “You all have got to read this one!”
I shrunk under the black formica lab table, dying from embarrassment, shocked that anyone would give kudos to me for writing something about riding my banana seat bike down the hill on my childhood street. My colleagues took a few turns here and there. None were as demonstrative as that older teachers was. I am sure she was such a presence I can bet some of them just came over out of fear, reading it to keep her from saying something to them.
But it stuck with me. Not everyday but there would be times when I sat people watching in a coffee shop, or driving along a highway, I would think, I wonder if I should take a shot at it.
So I did.
All my life, I’d imagined stories about love and loss. I thought about what I would have done in the situation and how I would have responded to all kinds of scenarios. Most of those story ideas revolved around book characters, people in everyday life and of course the occasional celebrity. Star crossed lovers, perfect for each other, things getting in their way but love would conquer all in the end. Maybe I had too much invested in soap operas with my mother and sister or maybe it was fulfilling an inner wish.
I had become addicted to Kdramas while living in Seoul, South Korea. They were perfect for my imagination and much better than American soap operas that dragged on for years. The Kdrama is pretty formulaic but done in 16 to 20 episodes.
Seoul was a gorgeous backdrop for my imagination. I lived and worked in the middle of that magnificent city, enjoying every moment. I was out most of the time doing something; attending concerts, museums, seeing movies, going to restaurants, watching musicals and mainly people watching. I love that city.
Sadly, my job changed and I moved to the outskirts and I felt a little lost, my release from my mental stress was following my new passion. I started writing. Early one morning in July 2019, I was up after sunrise, drinking coffee, dealing with my usual 14 hour jet lag from Korea and I finally took the time to write.
When I started to write the story, I had no idea if it was good or not. I am still not sure. I was so scared and embarrassed to admit to this new creative endeavor that I kept it secret from everyone I knew. One day a friend of mine and I decided we needed a “Seoul Fix” and drove up to the city for the day. I still see us sitting in the coffee shop at Shinsegae department store in Myeongdong and I finally told someone. She was so supportive, encouraging and proud of me. I felt heard.
Since that day I have begun a long passionate journey of writing, writing, writing, watch YouTube videos about writing, following blogs about writing, talking to people about writing, tweeting about writing, and reading anything I can find about it.
Currently, I have a 560 page manuscript that started out as a 12 page story. I have built around it as a panster, I also wrote an online serial story for one month and have started this blog. I work a full time job so I am trying to fit all this in when I can. It’s not easy but it keeps me from losing my mind in the pandemic insanity. I have hired an editor, used a cultural sensitivity reader and gotten 4 people to beta read so far. I hope to have it out there in fall of 2022.
I am nervous.
Thanks
K. D.